Hi Chase & Josepf & Jon & Sam & rest of you,
I am in an odd space so thought I would include you all instead of having so many private conversations. I'm really NOT good with email so bear with me (I do email as a career but this is a different kind.)
OK. I joined the channel on Dec 1. I stumbled in by accident. I'm not a social media expert nor even trying to pretend to be one. Tribe welcomed me in with open arms. I am a jumper so I went with it. In short order I was having so much fun playing around & socializing with people that I was totally. in. love. People just walked right in to my life and the whole thing took my breath away. Sounds exaggerated, but I'm 100% kind of gal. If I'm in something, it's fanatical love & loyalty all the way.,
So then the other night something happened and I got my feelings hurt. I think you were all there, maybe not Jon. But he walked onto the scene while I was still crying. I am easy to hurt, but I would usually get over it just as fast left to my own devices.
Enter Josepf and Chase. you guys clearly had some kind of disagreement to do with Hashable and it spiled over onto me. Now I dearly love Josepf after a few weeks of tweeting & stuff, and barely know Chase, let's be honest. Our schedules are different and so are our temperaments. I'm hyper and he's all cool. So while still angry and upset, I went and talked to my big J and my oldest twitter friend Jon and same night I went and made up #ifthen island. I burned my "doghouse" list and killed off @usguyssanta and deleted the "marry me" list, and wrote #usguys out of my profile. Yeah, I am an impulsive kind of Aries gal.
So I did this because I love Josepf, BUT I quickly found I love the #bigtribe even more. CRAP. So then I tried to turn the #ifthen into a kinder, gentler kind of social-club spinoff group starting yesterday and tonight. I threw a virtual party tonight, and we rocked the house. It was so much fun I got twitterjailed. It was a nice thing and I want to do it again.
That's where I've been. So now I go and have a heart-to-heart with Chase. And more of, CRAP, I don't want to have to choose between Josepf+#ifthen parties and Chase+#usguys tribe. So I am in quite a double-bind here and my thought is, screw it, I'm throwing in the towel because I can't win this one. If I split the tribe and pull people over to play on my island without the sanction of the core #usguys members, I'm doing something that doesn't feel right. If I go back to the big tribe, I feel like I'm betraying Josepf and I also haven't been feeling at all welcome back on the channel as my usual jokester self. I left and the tribe seemed to go on just fine without me. Sucks.
The whole hashable thing is a total wash for me. I don't care what stats I have or how much hashcred. I just liked being creative with fellow tribe friends and the bonds that formed around coffee and beer jokes. (IRL I don't drink either coffee or beer v often, LOL, I get hot chocolate at Starbucks people ;)
So here's what I think. I'm shutting down the island for now at least until after the vacation. Easy to open, Easy to close. Done. If Josepf want to try and carry it on, he can. But I don't have the heart to do it anymore.
I'm going back to the bigtribe starting now. And I am going back to being my usual, high-volume, self-twitterjailing, social media addict with a penchant for a fast joke and a smart-aleck reply. And if anybody critiques me for it, I'll trust my #usguys close pals to give them the what-for. I should have before. Was caught off guard, having nothing but goodness from you all for weeks straight.
Finally, if we want to do a spinoff group from #usguys I want it official. After chatting with Chase, I believe I agree that the founding 5+ core team have a right to input, even if the tribe has now moved beyond control of so few people. Maybe it's time for something democratic- put things to the whole active and let them decide. But I don't want to be in charge cuz I suck at it. You guys decide what you are doing and I'll follow.
Josepf & Chase. Kiss and make up, dammit. If you go your separate ways you will utterly break my heart. You are both talented and amazing people. Find a common ground and get on it. Pronto. Or.. or.. I won't speak to either of you. No Jackie love 4 either of you till you make the tribe whole.
Finally, an appeal. Please, all of you, refrain from making me cry. I didn't know you could do it until you did. So stop it already.